I don't care anymore
I was suppose to buy a new phone couple months ago. Today, I actually thought I’d get my new phone. I’m so fucking fed up with everything. I wasted a whole entire day thinking I’d get my new phone tonight instead of doing my homework. It was such a waste of time about every single thing I did today. I don’t even want a phone anymore. And I am happy my phone is off.
As I’ve said in the past, “never rely on others, ever” I felt really upset not because of the anesthetic that was ejected inside my arm today but the fact I expected something to happen, which never did. I felt truly disappointed in myself for thinking that.
The first day of school, I wrote down on a piece of paper I wouldn’t wait till last minute to do my homework. Especially since it’s done online. Since Tuesday, I haven’t been doing my homework and now I’m stressed out of my mind. It’s barely half way done plus an essay due on Wednesday and I haven’t even started on my paper. #1 rule: Never rely on others,...
I don’t expect anything on Valentine’s Day. I’ve never been those girls who expect boys to buy me expensive gifts. I don’t care about the chocolates, the flowers, and whatever else people buy for their girlfriends. You can give me nothing and just take me out to dinner or just buy me food, that’s all I expect on Valentine’s Day. This year, it’s probably...
I feel as if all my emotions besides from happiness is numb. I may sound bitchy but that’s the truth. Reconnecting with my friends make me feel so alive. We bust awesome missions & plan what’s for next week and definitely Spring break! Don’t worry about what I be doing. Who knows what comes next. I’ve learned to plan ahead to get further in life. You plot out where you...
It’s sort of weird how with my emotions I can’t designate. A part of me wishes I was the bad person because then no one would expect anything from me. They won’t be dissatisfaction in anything I do. Rather than being the good person, you get plenty of dissatisfaction. My complication is: in reality, I care too much. I don’t have a large amount of inspiration to do anything...
Maybe I’m the one who has changed. I see certain things differently and I don’t believe everything people has told me because there are two sides to every story. Lately, I have this attitude I don’t really care much. I can be a caring and very supportive person. I actually don’t mind staying home because I can keep myself company and not worry about anything and just relax....
October was a pretty damn good month it carried on to November. This month just started but it’s looking good even though I have a ton of papers due before thanksgiving. To be honest, I was pretty self-assured about getting that job. I didn’t get hired and I am okay with that. Hard work pays off and step one is to keep applying till somewhere hires me. This weekend, my sister and I...
Sometimes, it’s better to be single than being in a relationship dealing with each others bullshit and do things on your own accord. Not have to worry about anything but yourself. Other times, it’s better to be in a relationship having someone to actually care about anything in general, to do things and go to fun places with you. Times like these, I’d rather to be in neither and...
Exactly one year ago, the first time ever. I still remember the reasons why it happened. Yet, this same exact day today somewhat is similar today just different situations. How ironic is that.
Intro to Art. Why are you a pain in the ass. My professor talks way more than she should. Three hours of lecturing yet she does not have time to explain for a museum paper. Powerpoint presentations are the worse, I don’t think that’s the best way to learn especially when you talk a lot. I wish I took a different art class that is more entertaining. I am not ready for my first exam.. I...
Life after high school
It’s not what I imagined but it’s pretty great. I have reconnected with some friends I did in high school. The thing about high school is popularity. I’m not one of those high school girls who wants attention. I separate myself from them. My good friends in high school understands, you do not need to hang out with them everyday for them to understand you. We seem to connect in a...
Had a very productive day. One of the best days I’ve had in awhile with the most awesomest people! The greatest way to end the weekend before school starts. I’m ready for college!! :D Taking my mom out to eat lunch tomorrow, yay! :D Can’t wait for more excitements to come!
I find it very ridiculous when fingers are pointed at me. Of course, that’s nothing new because everything I do is wrong. As to do, at times, I am lazy as a bum to anything but other times, I put in so much effort and work to clean, yet no matter what I do, I always get yelled at. I am never free from being yelled at because there’s always someone trying to cause a fight with me or to...
I finally cleaned up that room faster than I thought! I’m proud of myself. Surprising how my day went. Woke up to the feeling where my parents said they were gonna go gamble! :D I hope they win some bucks home for us. Anyway, I chose a color I’m really happy about. Downside to that is, I have nowhere to sleep. It’s funny how the one day you need people, they just happen to be...
It’s funny how quickly friends come and go. Honestly, I thought you’d be better than that. I didn’t led you on or anything like that because I wouldn’t do that especially when I’m in a relationship. You ask why we never hang out and maybe this is the reason why. Sometimes, I do believe once you “love/like” someone, their feelings always has it’s way...
It’s funny how quickly humans tend to forget. Let’s be real, this isn’t the first time so I’ll take that as no surprise. I have a mind full of thoughts wandering around that I’ll most likely won’t get answers for. Honestly, I’m not gonna stress out over this shit anymore. Till then, don’t be surprised when I change my mind. I’ve set my goals...
I never really knew how high are my expectations were. I hate the fact I always hope even though I know I’m going to be disappoint myself. I’m not as bright as everyone thinks I am. I’m so fucking gotdamn tired of dealing with everything. I tried many times trying to talk about different situations but it seems like it can just never go away. It’s not easy as you think....
Happens to me every time.
I always try to set my mind to think positive. I’m assuming that always fails. I try to think so happy and grateful about life. I always pray and wish for little things, in which case I guess they’re too big that I consider little. Every time when I’m upset with myself, I pray and hope things will get better. It just gets worse and everything goes down hill. I tell people to set...
I had a descent day today. Although, I thought about a lot of things such as now and my future. I have high expectations and that seems to be a problem. I have lost friendships in the past, pretty recent actually and it sucks but that’s life. I may not be proud of who I have become today but I will make sure as this year goes on I will accomplish big things and make people around me happy....
Spring is coming, seasons change. Of course I’d get sick, I always do. Well, this is bad. Normally, when I’m sick, I don’t get emotional but this, I am. It’s terrible. Past couple days, I’ve been feeling like it’s me against the world. No one really appreciates the things I do for them. Life is unfair, that’s a given. I didn’t have dinner tonight...
I need to stop thinking and hope everything will be alright. I’m losing my mind over this incident. This, I cannot forgive myself. Why me. This, I do not deserve. I deserve to be happy.
I'm losing my mind
Physically and mentally. When you’re in love, you’re willing to risk anything right? When you’re in love, sometimes you just do the most craziest shit you told yourself back then you’d never do. I’m scared. Without you, I am scared I will do some idiot shit I would regret because the person you love isn’t looking out for you. I have never loved someone so much...