I stopped caring.

I stopped wanting to do things and do things on my own which is to be with the people who actually support my brother at baseball games. I cherish every single game they’ve got. I feel like my life has been getting better even though I don’t go out all the time or when I do, it’s with people who can cheer me up without even trying to do so. I stopped wondering about lots of things. I just don’t care anymore. Maybe I lost trust in lots of people like I always do. I stopped wondering around asking questions, I stopped getting upset, I stopped wanting to know where people go and I just sit there quietly and say to myself, it doesn’t affect me so I shouldn’t bother. 

It sort of saddens me because I used to be very caring. Now, I’m not so much anymore. I just don’t think there is a reason for me to care about certain things anymore except school. Speaking of which, I am on the right path so I am proud of myself. Even though I am taking summer school, it doesn’t suck. I actually enjoy taking classes during the summer. I just hope lots of fun excitements happen this summer and see my friends when they come home for the summer :)

important [adj.]

     of great significance or value; likely to have a profound effect on success, survival, or well-being

It’s sad that there are people around you who you call important yet they tend to ignore you. I do not feel important to you which is okay. I’ve been through a lot these past years and I’m going my own way. You are not my first priority. Do not expect me give you the full attention you want from me. You can complain about how spoiled my brother is or how my sisters take advantage of me but by the end of the day, they will always be apart of me and made a big impact on my life. This summer I will be busy to the point where I do not want to always be around you. I do not want to do anything special anymore. 

I’ve realized I’ve spent too much time doing my own things and not so much on my brother. I  am spending more time with my brother with baseball, with the people who actually care and support him. I am changing for the better. Realize being upset does not resolve anything. For every reason to be upset, find a reason to be happy. It makes life a lot better especially doing something productive with the people around you. 

When things aren’t right, I find other reasons to be happy and thankful for living :]

Deception

I don’t want anything. I’m don’t need you to spoil me. MIss her instead of me. I never thought you would betray me and go behind my back. I don’t want to hear your apologies of how sorry you are because it means nothing to me. 

Funny thing is that she isn’t even the problem. 

As I’ve said in the past, “never rely on others, ever”

I felt really upset not because of the anesthetic that was ejected inside my arm today but the fact I expected something to happen, which never did. I felt truly disappointed in myself for thinking that. 

Can you tell I’m in pain? I’m a trooper with a thumbs up. I took out 4 wisdom teeth today. And I don’t feel pain, I survived! :D Never again will I have oral surgery except teeth cleaning. Yeppie, I am a happy camper!

Most of my time consists of taking this handsome little boy to baseball practice. Let’s go Red Sox’s! :)

Procrastination

The first day of school, I wrote down on a piece of paper I wouldn’t wait till last minute to do my homework. Especially since it’s done online. Since Tuesday, I haven’t been doing my homework and now I’m stressed out of my mind. It’s barely half way done plus an essay due on Wednesday and I haven’t even started on my paper.

#1 rule: Never rely on others, ever. 

Valentine’s Day

I don’t expect anything on Valentine’s Day. I’ve never been those girls who expect boys to buy me expensive gifts. I don’t care about the chocolates, the flowers, and whatever else people buy for their girlfriends. You can give me nothing and just take me out to dinner or just buy me food, that’s all I expect on Valentine’s Day. 

This year, it’s probably one of the worst day I’ve had. I actually had a date who decided to do something else rather than to be with me. That’s worse than someone not having a date on Valentine’s Day. 

The Starbucks man spelled my name correctly along with a face :)

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I feel as if all my emotions besides from happiness is numb. I may sound bitchy but that’s the truth. Reconnecting with my friends make me feel so alive. We bust awesome missions & plan what’s for next week and definitely Spring break! Don’t worry about what I be doing. Who knows what comes next. I’ve learned to plan ahead to get further in life. You plot out where you want to be in a couple years, work hard & you’ll get there. Don’t think about the money, think about the dream job you’ll enjoy doing for the rest of your life. I’m sure once I find out what I’m majoring, I’ll definitely be living in my dream. This semester, I plan on staying in more and study and work out. 

Every time I am go to my grandma’s house, I always look forward on playing hide-and-seek with these knuckle heads :] 

It’s sort of weird how with my emotions I can’t designate. A part of me wishes I was the bad person because then no one would expect anything from me. They won’t be dissatisfaction in anything I do. Rather than being the good person, you get plenty of dissatisfaction. My complication is: in reality, I care too much. I don’t have a large amount of inspiration to do anything but to acquire my wants online and think about how I’m going to stay fit which I am in the process of doing so. Once summer is around, I will be thankful eloquent hard work does pay off, just depends on how badly you want it. As my doctor has said, working out is good for you in plenty of ways. It helps dealing with any stress you’ve got on your mind. It’s true.

“Don’t let yesterday’s struggles ruin the beauty of today, because each day has its own promise of love and joy.”